I've had a terrible case of WhyMe? Work, family, money, worry about my Mom; things just seem to be piling up. Well here are 4 of my blessings.
The boys and Bean's kids have been hale and hearty since birth. The girls haven't been so fortunate. Nikki was born with severe allergies. She was hospitalized several times as an infant. She out grew most of them and the rest are under control. She still has bouts with asthma. She has a vision problem that we hope her glasses will clear up (and so far so good) but if not she will have to have surgery. The vision problems make school hard for her sometimes. (She is not wearing her glasses in the pictures)
Liz has had asthma since birth. Her allergies are becoming more severe with time. Just being in a room with nuts can put her in the hospital. She keeps breaking out in hives and the doctors have no idea why. It breaks my heart when she tells me she itches because there is so very little that we can do for her. She takes several medications a day. She has taken enough steroids since birth to cause concern. She goes nowhere without an epi-pen. A trip to Boston for more intense testing may be in her future. Even with insurance the bills are adding up.
So how is this a blessing? Nikki's bills are mostly paid and hopefully she won't need surgery but we'll all face it together if she does. We know that Liz has allergies, we all have epi-pens and she does have insurance so the bills may hurt but they are manageable. She should outgrow most of her allergies in her teens. We can and will deal with all of her problems with the love and support of a large family. I am going to see my grandchildren grow into adults and have families of their own. My Mom will never get better so for now I'm thankful that she is not getting worse. Financially we are doing ok but having grown up poor I will always worry about money. The bills will get paid, as Bean is always telling me - it's only money, you can always make more.
At work we have picked a local family to share with this Christmas. A young Mom, Dad, Son and Daughter. The Dad went to school with our oldest, PJ. (PJ is Nikki and Liz's father) The Son is, or rather was, in Nikki's class. He no longer can go to school because he has cancer. His prognosis does not sound good but he is fighting and his family is fighting right along with him. I don't really know how to talk to Liz about this - they're only six! My heart breaks for this family. No matter how much we do for them it won't be enough.
Today I was talking to one of my students who normally walks, I hadn't seen her in awhile. I asked her how she'd been. Last week her four year old sister was diagnosed with leukemia. I didn't know what to say. Oh, I said I was very sorry to hear that and that I hoped the chemo would fix her up quick but it sounded lame to my own ears. I don't know what her prognosis is but I'm counting on her being one of my kindergartners next year.
I think I need a good cry.